This story appears in LEO’s Dining Guide 2010.

Some days you feel like a nut, as the old Almond Joy commercial told us, and some days you don’t. As for me, some days I feel like a bloody haunch of barely seared cow flesh. Some days I feel like alfalfa sprouts and tofu.

Is there a name for a wannabe vegetarian who likes meat way too much to give it up? I’m thinking “herbocrite,” and I’m willing to bear the label with pride.
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